Eleven of us players anxiously huddled together during a seventh-grade football game. The quarterback was frantic to get the next play. The coach had relayed the play to me on the sidelines, and it was my job to sprint onto the field and deliver it to the quarterback. But I froze. The words were glued to my tongue, and my mouth was stuck. Time ran out, and the quarterback made a last-second call because I couldn’t speak.

The task was simple for most twelve-year-old boys: run onto the field, relay the play, then get into position. The problem was, I stuttered. For as long as I remember, words have been my obstacles–a veritable jungle gym that I must climb through every time my throat tries to birth a sentence. I’m not sure why I am the way I am. But I know God has used it for His glory. I can admit that my role as a messenger in a high-stakes situation is not my forte.

Moses also stammered. God called him to speak to Pharoah to release the Israelites and it was, indeed, a monumental public speaking gig for anyone. But Moses was terrified, and so much so that he incessantly debated with God to relinquish him of the task. Three times he cried out, “I am unskilled in speech” and “How will Pharaoh listen to me?” (Ex 4:10-13, 6:12, 6:30). I like how clearly the NLT puts translates his reservations, “I can’t do it! I’m such a clumsy speaker!”

This isn’t the sad part of the story, however. We have areas in which we are afraid. The goal is to get through the task God has called us regardless of our inadequacies. The Lord relents to the complaints of Moses and finally assigns the speaking-to-Pharoah-role to his brother, Aaron.  In essence, Moses abdicated his role. He gave his words away. Fear usurped his part of calling, and Moses missed an amazing opportunity to see the power of God work through him.

God still used him in a spellbinding fashion. But  I wish we would have read a different version of this story. I don’t wish that Moses hadn’t stuttered, but I wish that, in spite of his fear, he would have confronted Pharoah himself. I can picture him standing near the throne with his knees shaking as he’s yelling “L..l…l…l…llllllet my people go!” No doubt Pharoah would have mocked him even more in his appeal. But bumbling through his divine proclamations and warnings would have been better than relying on a familial mouthpiece. Moses missed an opportunity to trust God with his voice.

What stopped him? Did he have anger issues? He did kill an Egyptian soldier when he was younger. He also smashed the first set of Ten Commandments and whacked the rock with his staff in the Desert of Zin instead of speaking to it. The final infraction cost him the chance to enter the Promised Land (see Numbers 20).

I don’t judge the patriarch. We’re similar in many ways. I stutter,  periodically act rashly, and sometimes avoid speaking situations. I remember my sweaty palms in grade school like it was yesterday. Looking ahead, I’d count ahead to prepare for the word I’d have to speak out loud. Would it be an easy “sh” sound or a difficult “c” or “q”?  One time, we were reading a Shakespeare play aloud in junior right and I decided to bolt. My anxiety felt so heavy that I became light-headed.  I thought, Red alert! I can’t do this! Mission abort! Raising my hand, I asked to use the bathroom. Returning a few minutes later, the teacher responded, “Someone took your reading part, Eric.” Anxiety won that battle, but not the war.

Speak Up, and Allow God to Redeem Your Failures

The first lesson to be learned from the life of Moses is that God needs your voice to be spoken in the world. You are uniquely gifted and it’s time to not hold back anymore. What you have to say is unlike any other voice on earth. Use it. The time for shyness is over. By God’s grace, I’ve only fled a few public speaking situations. Normally, I have faced whatever consequences came to me from reading or speaking out loud whether the words that came out were good, bad, or ugly. I don’t want to be skipped, glossed over, someone to finish my sentences, or anyone to speak for me. I have a voice, and so do you. People needed to hear what we have to say.

In third grade, I was obstinant about receiving help to read aloud. My teacher, Sister Linda, was an austere nun. On the first day of school that year, she yelled at me for not paying attention (I was engrossed in that game where you try to stack all of your fingers on top of your index finger. Important stuff). We were reading aloud one story of a Native American and I couldn’t edge her name out. Because it began with a “Q,” the sound was stuck between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I sat there sounding like a car that couldn’t start. At least a minute passed as I was trying to get my engine going. The teacher finally asked, “Do you need some help?” I said, “No.” These were my words, and no one was going to take them from me.

The second lesson is that even when you fail, God will still work through you. If you’ve backed out of one fight, there will be another waiting for you. Thank Him that He gives you second, third, and many more chances. Don’t think that if you’ve missed one opportunity, there won’t be others. The Lord built space into His plan for our lives that includes our inadequacies and blunders. There is Plan A through Z waiting for us. Despite Moses’s failures,  he is mentioned throughout Scripture, including Exodus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Psalms, Hebrews, and Revelation. The writer of Hebrews states, “Moses was faithful as a servant in all God’s house,” bearing witness to what would be spoken by God in the future” (Hebrews 3:5, NIV). In Revelation 15:3, John writes of a “song of God’s servant Moses and of the Lamb” that celebrated the Almighty’s wondrous deeds.

For Whom or to What Cause is Your Voice Needed?

Don’t let fear, social pressure, or shame hold you back from what God has put on your heart. It doesn’t matter if you are mealy-mouthed, or mellifluous. Don’t hold back. The world is waiting for what you have to say. Find your battle. It could be to teach mentally handicapped men and women how to lead meaningful lives. Or, to raise godly children and teach Sunday school. Some specialize in healing racial tensions, inequality, and helping the less fortunate rise about their circumstances. You might be called to write and help refugees as God called me. And praise God that my voice will be set in print for the first time this September when my dating book is released. Whatever the Lord has put on your heart, work at it with everything you got and speak up about it.

But don’t let naysayers or persecution stop you. Let your voice first please an Audience of One. God loves you, and you were put on earth to love Him back (and everyone around you). If you’ve missed the mark, keep a brave enough community around to let you know when you’re wrong. Face the fear to speak-out head-on. Expect to fall. It will be work to be heard. Don’t expect success to success to come easy. Keep pushing your way through the crowd. In my own life, God called me to speak and write for him, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t cost me. I spent thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours on speech therapy to smoothen my words. It’s all been worth it. Since then, I’ve taught successful seminars online, spoken to prisoners in Thailand, and given a chapel talk to hundreds of college students. Who else but God would give me the courage to say, Bring it on!

What Injustice Needs Your Voice?

Reminiscing about my football mishap decades ago, I laugh now. The memory of my incredulous coach, with his late-eighties thigh-length polyester shorts, pulled up to his belly button, going berzerk is hysterical. He’s jumping up and down, yelling, and frantically waving his clipboard in the air after I blew the play. Maybe he always wondered who dropped the ball? indeed, this is the first-ever recorded confession of the matter. I expect to receive a full hearing from the Beiger Bulldogs Athletic Association in Mishawaka, Indiana soon.

Phesicouness aside, it takes work to put your voice out there. You must risk being vulnerable with the words on your heart. Putting them into writing or action is will make people question you. I’ve written so many free articles and it’s amazing how many hurtful comments I’ve received. Some predators on the Internet are savage. Even people right in front of you will judge your good works. Some Congolese refugees recently prodded me with stark questions like “Why are you here in the camp?,”What are doing you doing here?,” and “What are your motives? I can be confident in what’s on my heart, listen, and be challenged all at the same time.

To whom or to what cause has God called you to use your voice? What injustice needs your speech? It doesn’t matter if you speak softly, are monotone, or have a speech impediment. But it doesn’t’ matter, God will fill in the gaps. He did for Moses, for me, and He will for you.

God can use us in spite of weakness. Nah, he often chooses men and women who are weak. Because only then, God can be God in your life.

[1] Cole, R. D. (2000). Numbers (Vol. 3B, p. 327). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.