After graduating college, my mom allowed me to live at home rent-free for three months. I spent the summer pondering the future, interviewing for jobs, and hanging out with friends. But by August, I felt listless. Worried. “How will I make a living?” “What job can I get?” What job do I even want? How can I find my calling? While sorting laundry one day, my mom blurted, “I’m charging you rent next month. It’s time to get a job. Just take any opportunity that comes along. But you need to work.” My ennui in the sun was over. I needed to find a job, and fast.

One promising position in I.T. arose forty minutes away. I was trained in computer science in college, but I wouldn’t say I liked it. Years later, I tried to change majors, but I didn’t have the wherewithal to cut my losses and try something new. Now, holding a B.S. in science, a nearby government organization interviewed me for a position as a network administrator. My training was in programming and web design, but I had worked in their technology department the previous summer as a computer instructor. The salary was good. The job came with banking hours, and it was steady work. I thought, Why not? The downsides were that I’d be stuck in an office setting, do a job I wasn’t excited about, and have to wear a tie to work every day.

I didn’t get the job. You’d think I’d be elated, but I was crestfallen. I had bills to pay. My mom wanted her $100 to stay in her and my stepdad’s house. I grieved the computer job. I thought, “Isn’t having some job better than having no job?”

In theory, yes.

God had a different plan, however.

Instead, I became a substitute teacher for the local school district. In December after I graduated, I received an offer to work in the I.T. department at a Christian university. It turned out to be a perfect fit for the next five years.

Thank God For Closed Doors

I don’t know why it took me so long to find my first “real” job–nine months after earning a college degree. But it was worth the wait. If I had started working at the government office, I might have never ended up at the university. I am thankful for that closed door because it opened a new one. It wasn’t my exact calling, but it opened up doors to find my true calling.

What about you? What doors have been shut in your life? Maybe it’s a relationship that ended, a job that didn’t work out, or a ministry that failed. Are you thankful for it? Or are you frustrated? Do you have gratitude or bitterness?

We need to allow ourselves to grieve when important relationships and opportunities end. Even if it was your fault (for example, you got rightfully fired for something), forgive yourself, lament, and move on. It hurts when we hit a wall. But walls often provide new directions. My mom is fond of saying, “When you hit a wall, turn.” Indeed, smacking nose-first into a wall of bricks is painful. Yet I believe God brings us to these walls,  dead-ends, or turning points to take us into someplace new. As Isaiah 43:9 says, “Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

Think about it—if God really wanted that relationship to happen, He would have helped you both succeed in it. If God really wanted you to have that particular position at the company, the door would have been open. Do we have eyes to see what God is up to in our lives?

Try Harder or Move-On?

One of the most difficult decisions we’ll have to make in life is to try harder or move on. Some doors need to be opened not just with a knock but with a dropkick. Your calling can be stubborn to find. Two years ago, I began writing my first book (How Should a Christian Date?), and I wanted to land a traditional publishing deal. People told me it was next to impossible for a no-name like me to get a book deal and actually get paid to write a book. In essence, they told me it was a brick wall.

Yet the Lord gave me a fire in my heart to keep trudging forward and find a publisher. I contacted everyone I knew who had any connection to the publishing industry. Emails flew off my computer to potential publishers. For months, I exhausted all of my resources to find someone to review the book. Finally, God broke through and opened the right door. I received an email from an editor Moody that said, “We are interested in talking to you about publishing your book.” I was ecstatic.

The point is, I had to work my tail off to land the deal. And God empowered me to do it. There are times when we must persevere in fulfilling a dream. Many doors closed to other publishers and it was tempting to give up. But God had the right opportunity waiting for me.

What about you? What doors have closed in your vocation? What doors has God opened? Which ones will He open? Where do you need to try harder?

It doesn’t matter what area of life it is, the blessing is often in rolling up our sleeves and getting to work. The same principle applies in marriage. Quoting Linda Wait’s research, author and speaker Dr. Timothy Keller states, “longitudinal studies demonstrate that two-thirds of those unhappy marriages out there will become happy within five years if people stay married and do not get divorced[1]. Couples must persevere in doing this. My grandparents were married for 71 years before my grandfather passed away. That took a lot of guts, staying power, and endurance.

I often believe that those inside the church feel like they don’t have to work hard to develop a good marriage, find their dream job, or fulfill their calling. The adage “Let go and let God” usurps the God-given value of hard work, discipline, and sacrifice. We’d don’t appreciate things in the same when they are handed to us when we didn’t sweat for it. Some doors need to stay shut; others need to be kicked down. “When a reporter asked, ‘How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?’ Edison replied, ‘I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.'”[2]

Closed Doors Are a Blessing

But how do we know if a door is truly closed or we need to try harder? (I’m not talking about marriage. If you’re married, you need to work it out, barring there’s no abuse or infidelity that has occurred). I’m primarily talking about job opportunities, dreams that die, or a friend that leaves the relationship. It takes wisdom. One person might be convicted to cut their losses while another is dead set on persevering.

I believe we stop trying to open a locked door when we lose hope. Each person must decide with—God and counsel—when they need to move on. The good news is that when a door closes, we don’t have to also lose hope in our dream. Often God wants to give us something in His own way and in His own timing.

See Closed Doors With Grateful Eyes

Have you thanked God that a certain door closed? When I look at my life, I can’t count how many closed doors have occurred in my career, relationships, and professional opportunities. Some doors I closed, and some were closed on me. Yet I don’t regret all the no’s. I might have never published a book on dating if I had never got through several heartbreaks. If that I.T. job after college didn’t close down maybe I never would have started working at the university.

God only knows our future. And that’s the point. Our life is in His hands. Whatever sinuous road your calling and vocation takes, God has a plan for your life. He wants you to be thankful for the doors that closed. He might have even been the one to close it. In any case, if Plan A or B didn’t work in your life, God has twenty-four more letters to work through. Is it time to get excited about life again?

Being thankful opens up your spiritual and practical eyes to see what God is doing in your life. It’s too easy to get focused on what’s not happening and miss what the Lord actually wants to do. Thank God for that closed door. Keep your eyes open for new ones. And don’t forget to turn when you hit a wall.

–>Next Article in Find Your Calling Series: Does God Care About What Job You have?

[1]Keller, Timothy; Keller, Kathy. The Meaning of Marriage (p. vi). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

[2] https://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/Pajares/OnFailingG.html#:~:text=When%20a%20reporter%20asked%2C%20%22How,an%20invention%20with%201%2C000%20steps.%22