I didn’t expect God to zap me with a lightning bolt of His love that afternoon. Several years ago, I volunteered at a youth worship conference called Soul Survivor in England. Thousands of teenagers gathered to hear from Christian teachers, connect, and pour out their hearts to God through singing worship. My purpose was to work, but I also arrived spiritually hungry. One of my issues was the shame that surrounded my stuttering. Stuttering has always plagued my speech. I often asked God, “Why did you create me like this?” That day, God finally told me. The Lord did what years of counseling could not. He spoke directly to me and performed a heart surgery that only He could. With my hands raised, and voice crying out among thousands of people, He said, “I made you like this for my glory.” In an instant, God shattered the shame. Frustration and confusion about my speech vanished. I was healed and have felt free of that shame ever since. I felt loved by my heavenly Father.

We all need to experience God’s love. We all want to banish fear, insecurity, and doubt about ourselves. We crave the love of God. Scripture says, “God is love” and that “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:8, 4:19). John Piper was right when he said that Christianity is primarily “convalescence.” 

I hope He aims a love bolt right at a wound in your life. I pray your healing comes instantly. Maybe you need restoration after a negative word someone spoke over you. Perhaps you were raised in a broken home and never experienced the love of Father God. Or, if you struggle with an addiction, you want nothing more than freedom. It could be you only know our Heavenly Father as a distant dad. Your heart yearns to connect with Him and experience His love.

Who doesn’t crave spontaneous healing from God? The few I have received have been invaluable. Yet it often requires effort to connect with God and feel His love. The rubric for our relationship with God is that we seek Him. We needn’t wait for God to move. Most of the time He’s waiting for us to come closer to Him. With that in mind, here are some practices that have helped me experience the love of the Father tangibly.

Replace Mary Magdalene at the Tomb with Yourself

In John 20:11-18, we read the story of Mary Magdalene at the tomb of Jesus. As she searches for Jesus’ body after His resurrection, two angels appear to her. They ask, “Why are you crying?” (v. 13). Then, seeing Jesus but thinking He is the gardener, she says, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.” Jesus turns to her and calls her by name, “Mary.” In this emotive scene, I picture myself in place of Mary. I’m the one in Jerusalem who gasped at Jesus’ death on the cross three days ago. It’s me who encountered the two angels (v. 12). When I substitute myself for Mary and verbally interact with Jesus in the story, it always brings me to tears. You do the same. Put yourself in place of her in that scene at the Garden tomb. Read the passage aloud with you being the one looking for Jesus. When He asks, “Who is it you are looking for?” answer Him with your own voice. Let Jesus speak your name as you realize the Lord is speaking to you and not the gardener. Embrace the Lord, and let Jesus affirm His love for you.

Speak the Kindest and Gentlelest Words to Yourself

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4). When I miss the mark, mess up, or do something I regret, instead of beating myself up, now I listen for the soothing voice of God. It’s not an audible voice. Instead, I first think to myself, What are the most outrageous and kind words I need to hear right now? Then I begin speaking these to myself—as I believe God would speak to me. “Eric, you’re OK.” “Everyone fails.” “You’re normal.” “I love you so much.” “Nothing has changed between us.” “You’re amazing.” “God still has a huge plan for your life.” Go big. Don’t hold back. Be creative. Lavish the most loving words on yourself at the moment you think you least deserve it. Why? Because I know that God’s character and nature is benevolent, kind, and gracious. Confess your sins and make amends regarding where you failed. At the same time, affirm yourself with the kindness of God. I know that’s how Jesus would talk to us if He were in the flesh today. Picture Jesus speaking life and love to yourself next time you do something you regret. In doing so, I believe you’ll feel the love of the Father. Many times, after meeting with my mentor, he would leave me with, “Be good to yourself, Eric.” Be good to yourself and speak life, not death over yourself. It reminds me of the Stuart Smalley sketches on Saturday Night Live—but it works!

Sit with Jesus by the River

I learned this form of prayer in the Roman Catholic Church. Picture you and Jesus on a beautiful riverbank. The weather is warm. A light breeze is kissing your cheeks. The day is perfect, and Jesus is next to you. The Lord could be sitting by you, hugging you, or laying His arm around you. Focus on His presence, but don’t feel the need to stare at Him. Relax. Look out toward the river and picture any distracting thoughts as objects floating down the river. Jesus may want to say something to you, or you may both sit in silence. The point is to spend several minutes with Him and let Him love you in a unique way. Keep allowing distracting thoughts to be carried downriver. If the moments touch your heart, write it down and read it to yourself later as needed.

Punch Shame in the Face

One of the ways to experience God’s love is to share your struggles with others. To break the power of shame, you must face it head-on. Likewise, to overcome fear, you must do the opposite of what it demands, namely, to keep yourself hidden. In my mission’s organization, we’ve held ministry times where people share their dirty laundry. People freely confess their deepest wounds, addictions, and sins. I’ve heard almost every sin in the book, but I’ve never lost respect for anyone who shared. Hearing people’s vulnerability has only increased my respect for them. We always lay hands on them, speak words of affirmation, and pray for them. The goal is to show unconditional love. When I have done this in front of others, I experienced a freedom that I’d never felt before. God’s love was tangible. Find a trusted group and open up—God’s love is waiting to meet you there.

Give What You Need

The last practice is giving the exact thing you need. If you are lonely, be a friend. If you are low on cash, give some away. When you need verbal affirmation, could you give it to others? Become the answer to someone else’s same need, and you’ll feel loved. Why? When you give yourself when you feel needy, it creates a divine opportunity for God to touch you. The Bible says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Likewise, “You can’t out-give God,” as Graham Cooke states. It’s true. God will pour into you as you pour out to others. When I’m down, I text five to ten friends Bible verses, prayers, and words of encouragement. I always feel loved when I do. Don’t worry about your own needs at that trying moment. Focus on others and give the little you have, and you’ll experience the love of God.

Which one of these practices resonated with you? Have you developed your way to experience God’s love? If so, comment below.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -Ephesians 3:17-19.